christmas came and went by jus like that
i dont even know if it allows my brain to generate memories
it was a good christmas, no doubt
celebrating with sec 5s, 24, 04, church ppl
but sadly, not so good things had to hpd too


christmas had to end with me crying in the shower
i wonder if the things that've affected me are true
or was i seeing or hearing things? (if only)
to hear an adult that i've not met in a long time say "dont forget ruth.." b4 shaking my hand,
and then saying "everybody forgets ruth"
what did that mean anyway?
i really wish i heard this wrongly
its jus 3 words but it was enough to upset me

or coming across a msg from a church member in my mom's hp
comparing me with beck
talking about some potential thing
hah, seriously..as if i dont get enough of that
my parents knew i was affected. but they still continued to talk about other stuff
wow i'm that invincible eh?
or maybe because what was said in that msg was true

yes, ppl that read this may say? huh, like that only what? no big deal.
haha if only it was not a big deal

and all these jus made me wonder again
am i that useless?
do i have to change jus to prove to people? what's the point in that anyway
do i have to continue to live in someone else's shadow?
all the things that i've done and put effort in, that in my mind i thought was quite an achievement, were just little things that ppl wont remember
my family always dismisses these things,
and jus assume that i'm oversensitive or naive
tiring, real tiring.



forget it.

♥ we have changed but we're still the same ;